From AFCEY Land

Subject: a.f.c-e's revenge?!?
From: (KSeward)
Date: 20 Aug 1997 02:56:10 GMT

Before you read the abject goofyness below, lemme explain . . .
I took a piece of common spam and made it into something silly and
(nominally) CE/GAL related.  My modest proposal is for others
(_hey,_that's_ you . . ._ [to be read in dazedbutslowlyseeingthelight
manner]) to do the same.  To take a shot at doing some CE recreation of
some choice piece of spam.  ("We'll call it:  SPAMMAGE!!!")

Even if what I've done sucks (and/or seems more like M. Python leftovers
than CE/GAL), you can sally forth and do your own CE-styled spammage to
some sex site or psychic ad (psychic sex--99 cents per minute).  You have
nothing to lose except your dignity and 20 minutes of your time.
Read/Write on . . . ;-)

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.  It separates the WINNERS from the LOSERS.
Do you want to be a paper boy?  Do you know what separates the Chris
Petersons from the people just getting by on day-old cheese?
successful people in any field, don't have all the answers... BUT 30 year
old paper boys
know where to find them.  Everyone needs to have information.  Children
need it for school plays involving Toulouse Latrec's left leg and a surly
waitress-turned-Caberet singer.  Adults need it to keep wolverines out of
their cupboards.  Don't you know someone that always seems to be
riding a llama?  They may have already bought this report.  Have ALL the
llamas you need at your finger tips.  I already spent hundreds of hours
tinkering with the inner workings of several vintage Pez dispensers, days
reading Better Homes and Gardens from the 1970's.

Here are a few examples: hovercraft, local and federal.  Are you trying
to find someone that owes you a month's supply of Weetabix?  Do you need
to check someone's
posture... a potential soulmate, whist partner, anyone?  Find that lost
sock or
college ring?  Lookup empty jars of paste from around the block or around
the world?
Track down old episodes of Family Affair?  Check someone's glass eye, soap
golf score or record collection?  Locate dust bunnies?  Get all the newest
try them before you buy them.  Find dozens of free offers. Search
lavatories around
the world.

Just about anything you can imagine , can be found underneath your couch.
You just
have to know WHERE to look.

Don't wait... your commodes aren't waiting for you!!!


****   SEND 9.95 cups of barley, or 3 oz. of ammonia
****   with your EMAIL ADDRESS or  mailing address to:
****   G. A. L.
****   39 HELEN GURLEY VON BRAUN ROAD #12345678
****   EDISONIAN,  NJ  08666
****   ATT: Internet Offal

Your name was on a list of people interested in receiving lemurs by email.
This is the way lemurs, compact cars and whirlygigs will be conducted for
many years to come.  No trees were
compensates for their endorsement of this product.  There are still
problems with life in general that have  to be worked out.  But for now
if your NOT
Chris Peterson, and would like to have your name changed to something cool
like "Alleyoop!" or "Bizward", send an email to
If you flame my iguana I will remove a blight from your garden.  If you
don't I will do my best to
have your six-pack removed from many coolers.
THANK YOU for being me.

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