On 20 Aug 1997, KSeward wrote:

> Even if what I've done sucks (and/or seems more like M. Python leftovers
> than CE/GAL), you can sally forth and do your own CE-styled spammage to

        Hmm.  Very lengthy indeed.  When you write comedy spam (and I'm
just making this up as I go), keep the spam at arms length (it can be
stinky) and write one like the shorter, to the point spam we see much
of here.  Sprinkle with bad punch lines every few lines and you've got
a delicacy fit for Don Rickles.
 So what I'm saying is that your spam was funny, just way too long
for most to stick through (I read it).  Do a quickie version like thus:

 Are you fast approaching 60?  Still a paperboy?  Never been kissed by
anybody other than immediate relatives all those years?
 
 Then kiss your sorry butt good-bye and say hello to your new,
more firm ass!  Introducing "The Rear-minator".  Its a large blade, made
famous by that scamp Crocodile Dundee! In only seconds you'll have smooth,
sculpted buttox.  Be the envy of all the loser friends you have (if any).
Start dating depressed, surly, overweight older women who feel they nothing
else better to do than to see your sad, ravaged face.  Get them hooked
on the Rear-minator as well and your life might just pick up from the
dirt its been in!  Call 1-800-555-5555 for all the *gory* details!

(Disclaimer: By reading this disclaimer you waive any rights to legal action
for any excessive bleeding, discomfort, premature death,  or otherwise
disfigurement our product may cause.)
 

Mr. Bogus -I think even that was too long.  And where the hell is everybody
           these days?  I'm so starved for attention I'd call long distance
           to Jimmy Harris just for human/mr.bogus contact.